i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
