Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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