a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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