I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
