Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
