I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
