So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize