lets start a swedish sibling band together
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
