i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Are these your boobs on my camera?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
