maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
