if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
