Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
