i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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