They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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