would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
