Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you mean i was at the winter classic?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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