Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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