I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
