I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
