The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
