Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She's the barista slut.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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