I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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