They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
