drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
