No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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