she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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