Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
