how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
