my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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