this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Farmville is her only friend.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
