You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
