so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Panties = found
Randomize
