Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
