Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
