They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
