my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
