I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
