im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
