No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It's rum buckets o'clock
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
