Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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