"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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