We won't sleep together?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
