dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
