Where did you get a picture of my penis
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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