i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
