I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
the liver wants what the liver wants
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
