Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
