He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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