Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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