quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
