how can u be prego again
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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