One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
