Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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