Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
